NINTENDO NES - BAD STREET BRAWLER VIDEO GAME FOR SALE.
"Midget Molesting Mayhem!!"
OK, one day me and a friend were
getting bored of the NES games and we busted out of the box a game we
had overlooked. BAD STREET BRAWLER was its name. We popped it in and it
worked on the first try. wow! i thought to myself. then we saw the title
screen. a skinny blonde guy with 'funky shades' who we presumed was the
'BAD' street brawler. We pressed start and off we went! Into training
where you get to test your WHOPPING TWO MOVES per level on a magically
suspended punching bag that returns to its original position and form
after ANY punishment. go ahead and try. Then we noticed that the 'bad'
street brawler WAS in fact the stereotypical badass gang thug everyone
is afraid of.. complete with yellow spandex short-shorts and a yellow
leather vest.. not to mention yellow leather high heels. All in all, he
looked like he was gonna kick some ass!! (drag style) Alright! I
thought. cant wait to find out what bad-ass opponents await! Overcome by
this new anticipation, we skipped through the 'training program' (and i
use that term loosely because how much of a better fighter do you get
by beating on a magical punching bag?) And we were off. Spandex man to
the rescue. what rescue? we dont know, there's absolutely no storyline
so we made that one up. We walked to the right of the screen and
instantly heard a bad-ass tune in the backround. which to my surprise
didnt become annoying for a whole 10 seconds! We just couldnt wait to
kick ass. then we met up with the first enemy.. a.. midget?a bald midget
with a ball and chain? in a caveman suit? he evn had one of those gross
german curly mustaches. We didnt even know if he was an enemy, so we
tested out that kick-ass punch on him. sure enough it dented his bald
head and he flew back the whole screen. WHAT A BLAST!!! man, this is was
fun if i ever saw it. walking around as a BAD STREET BRAWLER in SPANDEX
beating the crap out of seemingly innocent midgets.
was quite fun, just because it was so funny! we couldnt wait to see what
hilarious or bad enemy was coming up. and then we got the surprise of
our life.. a banana-throwing ape? we didnt even realize he was the boss
of the level until he smoked the caharacter in the head with a banana,
taking off our life bar .. then he proceeded to land a nice punch that
took off half the life bar. so we drop kicked it off the screen a few
times and victory was ours!
The hilarity ensued into the next
level where you get the move 'trip' . You push your opponent onto the
ground, and then to go even further you molest their.. area.. to top it
off, they CANT get out of it, you can just keep pressing B and molesting
them as they are stuck to the ground in agony. It might sound like I
just have a sick mind, but thats REALLY what he does. Especially to the
midgets... At this point we got to the next level and all of a sudden a
basketball came flying in from nowhere and busted 'DUKE's head open.
Then we were mauled by a tall lanky purple basketball guy so we just did
the molest (trip) move on him so he couldnt get out. And he died. The
next boss that came into view was a fatass bald guy with a gun and a
retarted shirt. We kicked his ass but then his flab somehow just came up
and hit us. So we just used the 'drop kick' move and busted his teeth.
Then all of a sudden the music changed and BAM! Run over by a dude on a
motorcycle with absolutely NO warning. At this point we got game over
and I threw the game against the wall, probably breaking it... But boy
did we have a laugh.. So here's how she scored:
Graphics: 0/10 .
i wouldve given this a 6 or 7, except they made the character you are
look like richard simmonds with shorter hair and shades..
Sound: 0/10 . The single music track (that i could hear) in the game is crap. Cool for a minute, but then crap
Control: 01/0 . Crap. 2 moves per level? Sometimes its hard to hit your enemy.. and no block?
Replayability: 0/10 . Who would play this again..?
BOX NOT INCLUDED
This product was added to our catalog on Tuesday 05 July, 2011.