"Midget Molesting Mayhem!!"

OK, one day me and a friend were getting bored of the NES games and we busted out of the box a game we had overlooked. BAD STREET BRAWLER was its name. We popped it in and it worked on the first try. wow! i thought to myself. then we saw the title screen. a skinny blonde guy with 'funky shades' who we presumed was the 'BAD' street brawler. We pressed start and off we went! Into training where you get to test your WHOPPING TWO MOVES per level on a magically suspended punching bag that returns to its original position and form after ANY punishment. go ahead and try. Then we noticed that the 'bad' street brawler WAS in fact the stereotypical badass gang thug everyone is afraid of.. complete with yellow spandex short-shorts and a yellow leather vest.. not to mention yellow leather high heels. All in all, he looked like he was gonna kick some ass!! (drag style) Alright! I thought. cant wait to find out what bad-ass opponents await! Overcome by this new anticipation, we skipped through the 'training program' (and i use that term loosely because how much of a better fighter do you get by beating on a magical punching bag?) And we were off. Spandex man to the rescue. what rescue? we dont know, there's absolutely no storyline so we made that one up. We walked to the right of the screen and instantly heard a bad-ass tune in the backround. which to my surprise didnt become annoying for a whole 10 seconds! We just couldnt wait to kick ass. then we met up with the first enemy.. a.. midget?a bald midget with a ball and chain? in a caveman suit? he evn had one of those gross german curly mustaches. We didnt even know if he was an enemy, so we tested out that kick-ass punch on him. sure enough it dented his bald head and he flew back the whole screen. WHAT A BLAST!!! man, this is was fun if i ever saw it. walking around as a BAD STREET BRAWLER in SPANDEX beating the crap out of seemingly innocent midgets.

The game was quite fun, just because it was so funny! we couldnt wait to see what hilarious or bad enemy was coming up. and then we got the surprise of our life.. a banana-throwing ape? we didnt even realize he was the boss of the level until he smoked the caharacter in the head with a banana, taking off our life bar .. then he proceeded to land a nice punch that took off half the life bar. so we drop kicked it off the screen a few times and victory was ours!

The hilarity ensued into the next level where you get the move 'trip' . You push your opponent onto the ground, and then to go even further you molest their.. area.. to top it off, they CANT get out of it, you can just keep pressing B and molesting them as they are stuck to the ground in agony. It might sound like I just have a sick mind, but thats REALLY what he does. Especially to the midgets... At this point we got to the next level and all of a sudden a basketball came flying in from nowhere and busted 'DUKE's head open. Then we were mauled by a tall lanky purple basketball guy so we just did the molest (trip) move on him so he couldnt get out. And he died. The next boss that came into view was a fatass bald guy with a gun and a retarted shirt. We kicked his ass but then his flab somehow just came up and hit us. So we just used the 'drop kick' move and busted his teeth. Then all of a sudden the music changed and BAM! Run over by a dude on a motorcycle with absolutely NO warning. At this point we got game over and I threw the game against the wall, probably breaking it... But boy did we have a laugh.. So here's how she scored:

Graphics: 0/10 . i wouldve given this a 6 or 7, except they made the character you are look like richard simmonds with shorter hair and shades..

Sound: 0/10 . The single music track (that i could hear) in the game is crap. Cool for a minute, but then crap

Control: 01/0 . Crap. 2 moves per level? Sometimes its hard to hit your enemy.. and no block?

Replayability: 0/10 . Who would play this again..? 


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  • Model: Nintendo NES
  • Shipping Weight: 2lbs
  • 1 Units in Stock

This product was added to our catalog on Tuesday 05 July, 2011.

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